Also, "coming out of the closet" or "being out," this term refers to the process in which a person acknowledges, accepts and in many cases appreciates his or her identity. This often involves the sharing of information with others. The process of coming out to oneself and to others occurs for different people in a variety of places and ways. *

Coming Out is a process. It is something which must be done one step at a time, and is different for everyone. There is no handy, step-by-step guide which will help all people through it. Yet, there may be some general steps which everyone must go through.

Acknowledging Your Sexuality: The First Phase

The first phase of coming out of the closet is acknowledging you own sexuality. This process often includes an up and down period of confusion or anger. Some people may frequently ask, "why me?" For some people, this stage lasts only a few weeks or a couple of months. For others, the process can take years. There is so set time-frame, so remember that it's different for everyone. "Some people describe this time of accepting their sexuality as though they were riding an emotional rollercoaster. One day they felt happy and confident and ready to tell everyone; the next they felt confused, scared and relieved that they hadn't."**

Telling Someone Else: The Second Phase

The next stage in coming out is often the hardest. This is the phase where the person tells a friend, family member, teacher or authority figure that he or she is gay. There is no "right answer" about who to tell first. For some, telling one parent is the easy step, or telling a sibling. Many gay men choose to tell a female best friend - a fag hag - so to speak. Many others go in all kinds of other routes. After this initial step is over, many people continue on and tell everyone in their lives. Still others only tell one or two immediate friends and then tell the others slowly. It's a very individualized process.

Step Three: Coming Out Lasts a Lifetime

Once a person begins the process of coming out, he or she will "be out" for the rest of their lives. Coming out to oneself is a hugely important part of the coming out journey, but coming out is much more than just telling those close to you about your sexual orientation. Many opprotunities will exist almost daily where a glbtqa person will have to come out. Remember that the decision about who to come out to always belongs to you. Nobody can tell you that you are coming out "the wrong way." Every journey will be different. ***